The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you.
Neil deGrasse Tyson
No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.
Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.
Self-centered indulgence, pride and a lack of shame over sin are now emblems of the American lifestyle.
I don't believe in absolutes...most of the time.
Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.
The need to be right is the sign of a vulgar mind.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin
The earth is littered with the ruins of empires that believed they were eternal.
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
Anyone who believes in magic is a fool.
A great man is always prepared to be little.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It always makes me proud to love the world somehow – hate's so easy compared.
Sometimes paranoia's just having all the facts.
William S. Burroughs
Though liberals do a great deal of talking about hearing other points of view, it sometimes shocks them to learn that there are other points of view.
William F. Buckley
You never hear in the news, “Two hundred killed today when atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the agnostic stronghold in the north.” Doug Stanhope
A Christian ought to speak kindly even when given the opportunity to retaliate.
All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.
Don't you love the Oxford Dictionary? When I first read it, I thought it was a really, really long poem about everything.
Pretending to be modest kind of misses the point.
The masses have never thirsted after truth. They turn aside from evidence that is not to their taste, preferring to deify error, if error seduce them.
Gustave Le Bon
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
The elementary rules of logic: that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence and that what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
Credit you give yourself is not worth having.
Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
H. L. Mencken
I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.
You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read.
I am not apt to follow blindly the lead of other men.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.
Confidence is what you have before you understand the problem. Woody Allen
Compiled by Sal Moriarty