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Murphy's Law: Random Thoughts

I sometimes wonder about the thought, or lack of it, that goes into the making of signs these days. I have seen road signs and even warnings on medicines that don’t seem to make sense or just state the obvious. I think the fear of frivolous law suits has contributed greatly to all of this unnecessary information.

I have pondered the following signs over the past few years and settled on my own conclusions. Do you agree?

Warning sign on a popular laxative: “It works while you sleep.” I don’t know about you, but I want to be awake and alert when this happens.

I see yard signs all the time that state: “For Sale By Owner”. It is comforting to know that what is being sold is done so by the owner and not the next door neighbor, or perhaps the ex-wife.

A popular coffee brand has had this advertising statement for a long time: “Good To The Last Drop”. I have often enjoyed this coffee but I never drink the last drop as there must be something wrong with it.

My new car sometimes tells me by a sign the following: “A Door Is Ajar”. I have always felt that a door was something that opened and closed, and a jar was something to put stuff in. I never knew the two were one in the same. However, my car is pretty smart at times.

A popular sleeping pill has the following statement on the bottle” “Caution, may cause drowsiness”. Who would have thought it? Would I take one to keep me awake?

A pre-colonoscopy treatment is something called “MoviPrep”. There is actually a warning on the box which states: “After use, a loose, watery bowel movement may result”. Well, duh..? Why do you use it?

There is a sign on a highway which actually states: “When This Sign Is Under Water, This Road Is Impassable”. What happens if you can’t see the sign to know that it is under water?

I saw this sign on a city bus: “Are You An Adult Who Cannot Read? If So, We Can Help” Well now, if you can’t read in the first place, how does this help?

Here’s a sign on a restaurant: “Open Seven Days A Week, And Weekends”. Apparently week ends are not a part of the seven-day week?

A sign seen in the maternity ward of a hospital: “No Children Allowed”. I guess new mothers are expected to give birth to teen-agers.

A road sign that warns of an ominous situation: “Danger Ahead - Fasten Seat Belts And Remove Dentures”. I have difficulty in contemplating the danger being warned about. Maybe a multi-rail train crossing?

I have seen several of these signs lately on our roads: “Survey Party Ahead”. This sign always conjures up a picture of several surveyors dressed in dinner jackets, holding drinks, and making small talk.

Have you seen this one: “Slow Children At Play”. Identifying particular groups of children as being slow is just wrong.

I see this one quite often: “Yard Sale”. I often wonder why anyone would want to sell this important part of their house.

Another popular one: “Garage Sale”. See comment above.

There seems to be plenty of these signs around. Just take a moment to contemplate their meaning and see if they don’t tickle your funny bone.

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